Normalizing our norms

I was out of Addis for a work visit over the weekend to a nearby rural town called DebreBirhan120 kilometers north east of Addis Ababa.The town is somehow assuming its inevitable progress to modernization; and yet, you see the beautiful flavor of the country taste in it. The music you listen to are of the past 20 years, the local people greeting you with a sense of hospitality and genuine friendly approach, farmers still plaguing with oxen, fresh and organic milk as you saw it milked…

Given the altitude of the town and the low temperature, DebreBirhan is said to be the birth place offermented homemade alcohol drink called AREKE, which is now a common Ethiopian local alcohol drink. I waschatting with two new friends I met on the bus until we pass by these AREKE houses and got them convinced to try a couple of shots to heat up ourselves from the cold weather. As per my convincement we went to one of the AREKE houses and sat on the long wooden benches inside the small but crowded room/local bar;an old woman with traditional tattoosall over her neck, dressed with a cotton hand woven dress came out of a room behind a curtain with a bottle of AREKE and pour three glasses of it for me and two of my new friends. 

While we were talking seeping our second glass of AREKE, an old man with a hut and a traditional handmade woolen outfit called GABI came in; he took my attention (or should I say ‘they took my attention’ as in to refer to an elderly in our culture; out of showing respect we don’t call an old person as ‘he’ or ‘she’ we use a term which for westerners could be a term for plural ‘they’) …anyways, the old man took my attention because all the customers in the AREKE house stood up by way of showing respect. Until this moment I didn’t realized the difference in these local alcohol bars and the ones in Addis or any other ‘modernized cities’ for that matter; except for the qualities of the places and the materials within or the music you listen to. You get to meet new people in both places, you get to have fun and drunk (you even get drunk soonerhere for two reasons; primarily, the strength of the alcohol/AREKE and second, the cheap price of it).Coming back to my point, I was stunned by the scene; I was reminded of what we lost in time, what we evaded, the respect, the hospitality, the sincerity… 

I remember, I my self was from the generation where it was common to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in most of the conversations. Standing up for the elders is the kind of norm I was raised in as a kid. we stood up and say ‘NOR’ whenever elders show up. I don’t really know the exact meaning of the term but it’s to show respect and a sense of welcominggesture to those elderly people. In return the elderly respond ‘BE EGZER’ roughly interpreted to mean in the name of Lord,please be seated.

If I am not bold enough, I would say this tradition has faded away from the so called modernized cities like Addis. We no more stand up for older people in buses or other places to give them seats as we see them standing while we are seated. Many of us are led to believe modernization made us pursue a good way of life;it did, to the most part.Yet, it isripping of our cherished norms. That’s why the scene in that small town bar made me retell this noble norm we had and seem to be fading away to be nothing but a cultural story to be told for our children… as I am doing it right now. To wrap up my point, I would say, it is time to give our good values a thought and halt normalizing our virtuous norms.