The me, in you

Inspired by a phone chat with a friend:

Every one of us is too selfish to love another being; we love ourselves so much, that others matter to us on a second thought. I tried to interpret the word selfish as ‘self-fish’ a term coined to mean self-seeking as the dictionary meaning of ‘to fish’ is ‘to seek’. Hence, we fish ourselves; we all seek what’s in there for us.

The chat I had with my friend rose with the query, “what do people see in others when they love?” Hence, with the above concept in mind, I tried to explain we all are self-fish, self-seekers, searching for what’s in good for us. We all search for what’s there to help us fulfill our incompleteness. Therefore, the thing that’s called love is nothing but a search for our needs, feelings, and wants in others. Accordingly, whenever we are in love with someone it means we found our needs and emptiness in that other person so as to fill our incompleteness. Isn’t it what it says in the book of creation, isn’t Eve the part of Adam that makes him complete?

So I say true love is said to be found when we fill the most part of our incompleteness with the companionship of others. Our incompleteness includes some components like emotional, physical, and spiritual. Here, it’s wise to highlight love seeming feelings like infatuation which are caused by bodily attraction or some other qualities which are not qualified to be as true love. The reason is, those types of companionship seem to fill our completeness because they try to cover up our main wants but not most or all of it. Hence, today’s biggest problem may be negligible tomorrow. That’s why some relationships that seemed to be built on intimate love at first appear to crack later.

Aside the incompleteness, we all are naturally attracted to ourselves. So, whatever qualities we see on others that are ours we tend to be attracted to. Simply put, true love is like looking oneself in a mirror; as a mirror reflects whatever you are; the other being you are in love with is the reflection of you; the reflection of your needs, wants and desires.

Follows the thought in poem:

THE ME, IN YOU

I, the living

I, the selfish living

I love, the me selfish living

Yet,

I say to you

Adore the you in you

Believe me when I say

I love you, not for say

I am sure this time

As sure as one can be

Every little thing you do

Every piece, every part

All about you

Wakes the me in you

Coz, my darling

Everything within me

I found it in you.

BINI – July 7, 2011